This is a Good Day

Mid-trip musings on a wonderful world

This piece is my contribution to “What a Wonderful World”, this weeks prompt from Stories from the Jukebox- check out the others and submit your own!

I have a pretty good life. I know that, in my head. Still, I rarely find myself thinking “You know, this is a good day”. Maybe when it’s over, I will glance back and realize it was pretty good. But in the moment? It seems like there is always something to do. Something to prove, or improve. It is a lot easier to see what could make it better rather than all the things that are making it good.

I am trying to get better at that.

There was one day this past summer when I did think, “Wow… this is just the best kind of day”. Although it was during vacation, it was not because of some grand experience. My wife, teen son and I were in the middle of a two-week road trip. If you have taken an extended driving trip, you know that they aren’t always glamorous or exciting. There are struggles to stay on schedule, unexpected obstacles to work around, and just plain boredom.

This particular day was not without challenges, but something about it, or maybe my perception of it, made the day stand out to me as almost as perfect as it gets. Since then, I have replayed it and tried to reverse-engineer what it was that made that day great.

We had a routine. We knew what went where to fit everything in the car. We knew the best time of day for each of us to drive. We had a good feel for how far we could go between stops. There was a rhythm to our days that smoothed out the bumps in the road.

We had spent the previous six days driving, and evenings visiting friends and family as we made our way across the country. The last two days were in South Dakota, where both my wife and I spent our early childhoods. Now our final destination of Montana was in sight, where we were to spend the second half of the trip with long-time friends.

Joined by my wife’s brother and his daughter, we set out on a blue-sky summer morning, making an early stop to hike to a swimming hole with a waterfall that formed a natural waterslide. None of us planned to take the plunge when we set out, but the sun was just warm enough to make a dip sound refreshing, and once one was brave enough to try it, we all ended up jumping in. Soon others arriving on the scene followed suit.

Reinvigorated, we trekked back to our waiting vehicles as the sun dried our clothes. We gave directions to another group searching for the trail. Before we hit the road for our long drive of the day, we made a pit stop for a lunch of smoked brisket sandwiches at a place I had researched before our trip. Trying and reviewing barbecue restaurants is a hobby of mine, and Pit 14 was as good as I had hoped.

Pit 14- Spearfish, SD

Now all that stood between us and the end of our days of driving was an afternoon cruising under the wide Montana sky, which was still clear, the sun bright but not too hot. Traffic—non-existent. Only the open road lay in front of us.

Our routine was to drive for a couple hours, then stop at some coffee shop along the route for a mid-afternoon energy boost. We were not sure that we would find a spot this day, as blank space filled the map between us and Billings. A search for coffee shops turned up only one, appropriately named “The Coffee Shop”. With expectations sufficiently in check, it was set as our next stop.

We pulled up to an unimpressive gray building along the dusty Main Street of Broadus, Montana. But inside was warm and welcoming. A large selection of gifts and clothing gave it a general store feeling, with the coffee counter—and ice cream for the kids— in back. Naturally, it turned out to be great coffee, and one of our favorite stops of the trip.

Back on the highway, with several more hours of empty roads to cruise, was when it hit me. This is a really great day. Nothing was incredibly exciting about it, but the convergence of many of the simple pleasures that make life enjoyable, along with time and space to appreciate them, made me feel like this was about as perfect as a day can get.

In the months that followed, I made mental notes of everything I could think of that contributed to that feeling. Here is my distilled down list of the things that make a day good:

• A routine and a plan, with flexibility to alter both as conditions warrant.

• A few things to look back on, and a few things to look forward to.

• Practicing a hobby you enjoy.

• Trying new things; accomplishing something challenging or out of character.

• Giving to those you meet, whether that is a compliment, encouragement or help of another kind.

• Someone to share these experiences with. Time with family. Time with friends.

• Perhaps most importantly, some unbusy moments when you can tune out the distractions and allow gratitude for the chance to experience all these things to seep in.

And it doesn’t hurt if the weather is nice too.

Granted, not every day can hold all these things. In some periods of life, it can be nearly impossible to experience some of this. You can have a great day, and a good life, with just one or two of them. But when they align? That is what makes you stop and think to yourself “What a wonderful world.”

In many ways, the things that I believe make a day good reflect the middle stage of life that I am in. I am a few years past the halfway point of an average lifespan. For decades, it has been thought that the mid-point of our lives is often the unhappiest. There is a certain amount of grief that comes with the realization that some of the plans you had will never happen—at least not the way you thought. I have had to work through some of that in the last few years.

Halfway through the trip, you begin to realize you are not going to fit everything in. The roads you took meant that you passed up some of the roads you always dreamed of driving. Maybe there will be another time to circle back. Maybe not. But a good portion of your journey is in the books.

This is where learning to appreciate where you have been and what you have done becomes important. It brought you here. Maybe it wasn’t all good, but you have come far enough to see that some of it was. Reliving the joyful moments or recalling how you survived adversity can set the tone for a good today.

Reliving a good experience is often better than when it first occurred. As my 96-year-old Grandma put it once, “You look back at life, and you remember the good times. The rest you just kind of forget.”

The seeds I have planted have begun to mature. The time invested in relationships, both personal and professional, is paying dividends. In times of need, the help I gave to others is returning to me, on a bigger scale than I remember offering it.

There is a rhythm to midlife that can make the days roll by like the easy miles on an open highway. You just know what works. You know what is coming, and you are prepared. There are still bumpy times, but experience says they will pass too.

I am deeply grateful for all these things. Yet an easy life does not on its own make for a good day. I need a challenge. There is still plenty of open road ahead, and who knows where it might lead? I have the desire—no, the obligation to find out.

Using the knowledge and skills I have gained to see where they take me is what this time is about. I still have dreams and aspirations. It is just that they are now tempered by realistic expectations, which if I pay attention to, help me appreciate the present rather than always wishing to be somewhere else.

The realization that there is an end to the journey, somewhere down the road, will lead you to prioritize the things that are most important to you. It might still mean working hard and sacrifice. But it should also mean you are having more fun.

If you aren’t, try this one thing. Turn off the noise for just a minute. If you can, drive somewhere where it can’t reach you. Look back on where you came from. Dream of where you are going. Find one thing to be grateful for, right where you are.

I think you will see it. It really is a wonderful world.

And this just might be a good day.

---

What makes a day good to you?